I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I want to walk on stilts...naked
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
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