just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
whose parrot is this?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
