Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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