listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
