I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
