two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
drinking out of a sandbucket again
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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