someone owes me an orgasm
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
