I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
