She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
