walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
