clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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