I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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