I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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