swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
