omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
