Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize