Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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