u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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