I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
