i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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