When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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