All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
