Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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