Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
