just survived the first fart of the relationship.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
