I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
