He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
