I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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