Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
