Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
