i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
she told me i tasted like america
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
