Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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