thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize