i think my mom watched the whole time
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
