So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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