You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize