mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
