chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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