Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
