and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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