i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
