there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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