You can't motorboat a personality
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
