I think I can smell my own vagina right now
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
