Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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