Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
the day after is always just damage control
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
