capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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