I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
high people should be assigned attendants
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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