I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
