Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
