There was a lot of him and a little penis
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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