what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
