this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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