don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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