He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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