So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
