my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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