just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
