There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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