obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
