so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
