This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
