Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
